Where Does It End?

It's been a while, but let's get back into it!

I put out a post on one of my social media platforms last week, asking experienced leaders to share one piece of advice with those who are leading teams for the first time.

And I will say, people really answered the call and shared such valuable insight and guidance that I wish I had when I first stepped into a leadership role.

But there was one comment that stood out to me, and not in a good way.

The overall sentiment was good, essentially telling first-time leaders to set the right example for the team, don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty, etc.

But the part that got me was “Be the first one in the door, and the last to leave.”

The reason that stuck out is, that’s what I have been taught my entire career.

When you get your first job out of college, in order to show your boss that you’re serious about your work, and want to climb the ladder, “show up early, leave late.”

When you get promoted, in order to show that you are willing to learn more about your new rolem and become a value-added member of the new team, “show up early, leave late.”

Then when you step into leadership, to show your team that you’re committed to them, and to model the right behaviors, “show up early, leave late.”

At what point do we get to show up on time and leave on time??

Now I’m not advocating that leaders leave their teams holding the bag, while they do no work.

But I think it’s a dangerous indoctrination that success requires overextension for the entirety of one’s career.

You have to consistently work longer and harder than anyone else, and when you step into leadership, it’s just the privilege of teaching your team members to do the same.

I simply reject that mindset because that’s what drives burnout and health challenges for both employees and leaders.

Yes, there are peak periods for your team where it would be nice for the leaders to stick around every now and again, to give the team some extra support, maybe lend a hand on some of the work to get everyone out of the office faster, or even make the executive decision to call it a night and pick it up the next day.

But the conventional wisdom can’t be that you are forever chained to your desk to prove your work ethic and commitment.

Where will it end?

And speaking for myself, back when I was an analyst, I never expected my bosses to be the first in the office and the last to leave. They worked their tails off to get to where they were, or “put their time in” so to speak, so I didn’t care that they left to go be with their families, have dinner, or even just go to the spa. They were no longer worker bees, and I didn’t expect them to behave that way.

True leadership isn’t defined by how long you stay in the office. It is defined by your ability to guide your team with clarity, consistency, and courage.

Yes, your team would take notice if you show up at 10:00AM and then you’re never seen again after 11:30AM. But what do they care about even more than that? They care about your ability to move obstacles out of their way. Your ability to communicate clearly why their work matters, and how it fits into the company’s mission. They want to know they can have a thriving career without it being a detriment to their family or personal life.

And remember: Your team will follow your example. So if they see that you are always in the office, and you’re the one turning the lights on in the building/floor and cutting them off at night, your team will assume that’s your expectation for them in order to be perceived well.

Also, they’re also taking note of this to determine whether they themselves want to enter the leadership ladder. Research has shown there is an upcoming vacuum for middle management because as middle managers are getting promoted, younger employees are opting not to climb the ladder behind them. They see the burnout, stress, and overwhelm their bosses experience, and they’ve decided that they want a different path for their lives and careers.

So I’ll ask again—where does it end? If leadership means being permanently exhausted just to prove commitment, then we’ve built the wrong model. And no amount of “that’s just how it’s done” will convince the upcoming generations to buy into it.

Leadership should expand people’s lives, not quietly shrink them. And the leaders who seek to get this right will retain talent while redefining what success actually looks like.